How to Save Money on Massages

So, I’m hearing this story about my brother going into Brookstone to try out a massage chair. This particular store had four display models with varying features, from simple to exquisite. Upon arriving, to his dismay, he found all four chairs occupied by other curious shoppers. He proceeded to browse around the store, keeping one eye on the chairs, ready to pounce when the current occupant vacated one.

Shortly, it happened. He slid into the big futuristic device, adjusted himself, and pressed the start button. He readied himself for an invigorating and relaxing experience. 

The footpiece folded over covering and securing his feet. Other contraptions on the armrests wrapped over his arms. A brief sense of panic flashed as he remembered a scene from a horror pic when arms came out of a harmless looking wing back chair and grabbed the poor victim seated there. Then the torture began.

His feet were pulled back and forth as rolling pins induced suppressed cries of agony from pressing nerves in his lower back. His face contracted into twisted grimaces with each revolution. Grunts and whoops made other shoppers turn to see what was making those sounds. It was my brother. Customers who had been hovering nearby to hop into the next available massage chair began to quietly slip out of the store or move on to look at other cool things that would not send them to the chiropractor the next day.

He couldn’t press stop because his arms were bound. He had to endure the entire massage cycle. Once it was over, the chair released him. Groaning with eyes wide, he stumbled out of the device, more relieved than relaxed.

His experience got me to thinking, this is the perfect way to do a budget spa day. Get some friends and go down to the local Brookstone. Hop into the massage chair display models and get a deep tissue massage. Try each model to stretch out your spa experience. If you time it just right near the sales staff shift change, you can go another round in all the chairs without the salesperson coming over to bust you for loitering in the store. If you’re willing to just go for a partial massage, head over to Bed Bath & Beyond and try out their massage cushions. 


About Carey Crawford

Carey Crawford is the author of this blog-o-mania. He is a freelance writer, a missional strategist, and has served as an adjunct professor at Dallas Christian College. Carey has nearly thirty years experience in local church vocational ministry, sixteen of those as a pastor. Carey earned his Master of Divinity and Doctor of Ministry from Mid-America Baptist Theological Seminary. Carey and his wife, Patti, live in Baldwyn, Mississippi.
This entry was posted in Humor, Life Observation, Curiosities, Stories and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s